March 29

…and then the murders began

There’s a meme going around the web which says that any book’s plot can be improved by taking the first line and adding “and then the murders began”.  In the spirit of previous annual retrospectives does this work with your favorites from last year?

It doesn’t work with the book I’m reading now, because it is an 18th Century guide to the brewing of malt liquors. Back then, they didn’t believe in pithy eyeball hooks in the first line.

The many Inhabitants of Cities and Towns, as well as Travellers, that have for a long time suffered great Prejudices from unwholsome and unpleasant Beers and Ales, by the badness of Malts, underboiling the Worts, mixing injurious Ingredients, the unskilfulness of the Brewer, and the great Expense that Families have been at in buying them clogg’d with a heavy Excise, has moved me to undertake the writing of this Treatise on Brewing, Wherein I have endeavour’d to set in sight the many advantages of Body and Purse that may arise from a due Knowledge and Management in Brewing Malt Liquors, which are of the greatest Importance, as they are in a considerable degree our Nourishment and the common Diluters of our Food; so that on their goodness depends very much the Health and Longevity of the Body.

…and then the murders began.

Maybe something fictional?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife

…and then the murders began.

That’s rather better.

Maybe it needs to be modern?

Late in the winter of my seventeenth year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time thinking about death.

…and then the murders began.

Ah…that works.






Photo credit: Alan Cleaver via / CC BY